Camille will facilitate Monday night. She shares:
So when I started thinking several weeks ago about what I would share for sangha this week, the first thing that came to mind was the idea of hopefulness. Particularly during this challenging and difficult time - I felt like what we all needed was hope. Hope that we would be safe, healthy, find peace and be able to carry on and return to some kind of normalcy. I looked up the definition of hope in the dictionary - it says "a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen". This was not exactly what I expected it to say - so I looked a little further for a more spiritual meaning and found "A wish or trust that something good will happen". So the second expression is what I wanted to focus on.
I didn't exactly come to this idea of hope with a lot of confidence. I initially found the days dragging with feelings of sadness, despair, fogginess as I read and listened to the news, worried about my 90 year old parents, my brother in a service related field, my daughter with asthma, and then all the poor, marginalized and homeless people who have been hit the hardest with this pandemic.
The feelings of not knowing what I should be doing and then not doing enough had been part of my mantra for a while, as well as looking at my privilege and freedom and having feelings of guilt around that. But as Adriana shared last week, the practice of mindfulness has also helped me find more calm and presence in myself. As one of my teachers suggested - "grow more wellness, understanding, and compassion in yourself and in your community and your sangha", so that you can be energized and do more for those communities in need.
As the weeks of this pandemic have turned to months - and many many people have died, suffered, lost loved ones, jobs, health services, homes, money, and more - our sangha made a decision to dedicate the month of May to generosity. To get out of my fogginess, I looked to teachers and writers and people who I admire who have faced much suffering and hardships, for inspiration and encouragement and even hope. I began to think about how the idea of hopefulness and generosity might be connected.
Our teacher Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay) said "Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship." The way I understand what Thay is saying - is that if he did not have hope that tomorrow would be better, he would not have had the generosity to do all he did for the people and refugees in Vietnam - to help them stay safe where they were, to bring refugees to the west, to start Plum Village and create a safe space for those looking for peace and shelter and food. He believes that "the practice of generosity is like an act of kindness". He says "it actually serves the people who give as well as those who receive".
I also looked up the definition of generosity and found this... "generosity or generosity of spirit is the openness and willingness to share our own 'gifts' freely with others, joyously and willingly and without expectation of receiving anything in return."
I recall when I first started sharing the practice of mindfulness with homeless men - I thought in a sort of altruistic way that I was selflessly and hopefully bringing this practice of equanimity, awareness, kindness, listening, and healing to them and that it would make a difference in their lives. And they have told me over the last couple years how much they look forward to our short time together. But what I didn't expect was how much being with this community would make me feel listened to, appreciated, happy and hopeful. I didn't realize how much healing I would feel from them in return.
The writer Susan Raffo says "Healing is about taking the time to notice what gets in the way of feeling connected to your life, your community and your sense of possibility. Healing at its core, is about slowing down so that we can better listen, to ourselves and each other." I always leave the homeless men (sometimes after some tears) with smiles, hugs, and the hope and trust that I will see them again next week. So no - I didn't "expect" this - but that is how hope and generosity work together. I was fortunate to "give" and also "receive" as Thay suggests.
Unfortunately I have not been able to be in person with these men since the pandemic began, but I have had the privilege and fortunate circumstances to have found more time in my days. With that time, I along with my daughters and neighbors, have been able to make masks for many people who are homeless and have collected food for them and others. I am also quite fortunate to be able to practice more meditation and spend time with my mostly grown children (rewarding but challenging). All of this has been an integral part of my mindfulness practice - learning to be more present with all of life’s challenges.
I began to explore a bit more about how hope and generosity showed up around me. I asked my parents, who raised 11 kids, if they had "hope" and how it made them feel. They said they had hope (and prayers) that all their kids would be happy and healthy. They did their best to share what they could and although we didn't have a lot of money and we didn't do big family vacations, we always had a home, food, clothes, and lots of love. They weren't perfect, as none of us are, but they were some of the most generous people I know. They shared time, generosity of heart and spirit, and what resources they had with us and those less fortunate than us. My love of gardening comes from my father who always shared what he grew with friends, family, and neighbors, and my love of crafts, creativity, and cooking came from my mom who taught me to sew and knit and cook. Both continue to do for others.
We all can hope and we all can heal. And we can possess the ability to heal ourselves and one another. In Thay's dharma talk called "Healing Oneself and Healing the World" - he suggests that we look at our suffering in order to recognize the suffering in others (part of the Four Noble Truths). And with this insight, "the energy of compassion arises because we have touched and understood suffering". Then "freedom is possible and the healing can start".
If we share this "freedom" that Thay talks about, it seems as if there is a huge opportunity to shift culture here. We can practice more generosity and show up for the world by reaching out to others, especially those who have been oppressed, by sharing kindness, time, energy and resources. With all of their pain and suffering and living in times of extreme racial injustice - teachers and writers like James Baldwin and Maya Angelou continued to write and share with all of us their personal stories and wisdom because they had hope. Hope that the world would grow to be a better place with more kindness, love and freedom. Their generosity of time and spirit was given freely to all of us. They were truly generous.
Bryan Stevenson, a brilliant equal justice lawyer who helps people on death row, poor and metally ill, those underprivileged that can't afford legal help, along with a multitude of other people, wrote in his book "Just Mercy'' about the importance of hopefulness. He found this hope in his clients and their families. Even when initially he didn't feel there was much hope and things seemed impossible, they convinced him otherwise with their resilience and perseverance.
One of Stevenson’s first clients was Walter McMillian, a young man who was sentenced to die for a murder he didn't commit. For over 20 years he suffered in jail. Through the perseverance and hard work of Bryan, the Equal Justice Initiative (EJI) he founded, and Walter's friends and family, working hard against the unfair justice system and abusive power, Walter was finally released from prison. Bryan now addresses the subject of hopefulness in talks to small groups. He often quotes the great Czech leader Vaclav Havel who said that hope is "an orientation of the spirit” and when people struggled in Eastern Europe for independence during Soviet domination they needed “the kind of hope that creates a willingness to position oneself in a hopeless place and be a witness, that allows one to believe in a better future." Through Bryan Stevenson’s generosity and that of his community and their willingness to hope - Bryan and the EJI continue to dedicate their time, energy, and resources to defending the poor and those trapped in the furthest reaches of our criminal justice system.
As Thich Nhat Hanh says, "If you continue to give you become richer and richer all the time, richer in terms of happiness and well-being." As I was researching generosity I also found a passage very similar from the bible that says almost the same thing, "Whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." While we all may not be able to heal all the sick, we can give our time and energy and resources to one another with a smile. As my friend Mary said at sangha last week - "even all the little things we can do are important to make that personal connection - you have touched them and they will touch you."
As you know from last week's email and Adriana's sharing last Monday night - OHMC has decided, as part of a response to the current pandemic, to support Nueva Vida, a local organization that is working with one of the most vulnerable communities in the area. Alongside exploring generosity on Monday nights, we invite you to practice generosity with Nueva Vida through your awareness and/or your actions, and to reflect on how this feels as the month progresses. Information about Nueva Vida was sent on Friday, which you can also find HERE, and you can learn more about Nueva Vida HERE. In addition, we will be sharing additional information in future emails.
For our gathering on Monday, I invite you to reflect on some questions and please see the lovely poem below shared to me by my friend Mercedes:
*In what ways might you find hope and generosity connected?
*To what extent do you think hope can help spread the message of generosity?
A couple questions from last week to consider again:
*To what extent do you feel like your practice of generosity with your larger community/communities also supports our sangha?
*How can you help your larger community to be a better place to be?
The poem.....
When Giving Is All We Have
Alberto Ríos - 1952-
One river gives
Its journey to the next.
We give because someone gave to us.
We give because nobody gave to us.
We give because giving has changed us.
We give because giving could have changed us.
We have been better for it,
We have been wounded by it—
Giving has many faces: It is loud and quiet,
Big, though small, diamond in wood-nails.
Its story is old, the plot worn and the pages too,
But we read this book, anyway, over and again:
Giving is, first and every time, hand to hand,
Mine to yours, yours to mine.
You gave me blue and I gave you yellow.
Together we are simple green. You gave me
What you did not have, and I gave you
What I had to give—together, we made
Something greater from the difference.
I look forward to seeing you on Monday night.
with peace, light, love and hope,
Camille