The Third Mindfulness Training: Cherishment as True Love

Dear Friends,

This Monday evening, Camille will be facilitating. She shares Monday night's topic with us:
The Third Mindfulness Training: Cherishment as True Love


A message from the Community at ARISE:

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Dear Beloved Community,   In this time of injustice, pain, and rage ARISE (Awakening through Race, Intersectionality, and Social Equity) invites us and our Sangha to practice with: “Five Mindfulness Trainings, New Paradigm For Racial Justice and the Global Pandemic”

Continue reading the message from ARISE here

Please note that these trainings are not to replace the Five Mindfulness Trainings in the tradition of our teacher Thich Nhat Hanh that we share each month, but they are an important offering in support of bringing peace, compassion, and understanding in these difficult times.  


The Third Mindfulness Training: Cherishment as True Love

Aware of the suffering caused by discrimination and oppression, I vow to understand its roots within my consciousness and my body and the collective body of the sangha and larger society.  I vow to recognize the ways in which I have benefitted or not-benefitted explicitly or implicitly from systems and structures that foster discrimination and injustice.  I am aware of the legacy of violence, especially unlawful police violence, perpetrated against Black people, indigenous people, people of color, differently abled people, people of various gender identities and expressions and sexual orientation, and others who are marginalized. I acknowledge the lived experience of all people to deepen my capacity for understanding and for greater compassionate action.  I am aware that narrowly constructed, prevalent interpretations of intimate relationships constrain how we cherish each other in our expression of love, leaving many further isolated and alienated. I am committed to looking tenderly at my suffering, knowing that I am not separate from others and that the seeds of suffering contain the seeds of joy.  I am not afraid of bold love that fosters justice and belonging and tender love that seeks peace and connection.  I cherish myself and my suffering without discrimination.  I cherish this body and mind as an act of healing for myself and for others.  I cherish this breath.  I cherish this moment.  I cherish the liberation of all beings guided by the wisdom and solidity of the sangha. This is my path of true love. 

CAMILLE REFLECTS ON THE ABOVE FROM ARISE AND SHARES:

The 3rd Mindfulness Training in this new and revised offering is called  "Cherishment as True Love".  As I understand this training I think of it as encouraging us to love and care for ourselves and others more deeply and to seek justice and peace by doing no harm, having no hate, and working for liberation and freedom for all.  This can be the path of practicing true love.

For me this is the heart of our mindfulness practice.  I see so much suffering in the world, why wouldn't I want to nurture seeds of joy, love, and compassion in myself and in others and help myself and others suffer less.  It sounds so simple, yet in practice we can often be so overwhelmed by seeing the violence, discrimination and hate in our world that we fall short of seeing how we are part of it, and then we retreat and wish and hope for it all to just go away.

I have participated in many events in the past couple weeks, including marching in protests, writing letters, making masks, participating in food pantry for homeless people, and just when I begin to feel hopeful, like we are working toward a common goal, I read the newspaper and hear of another horrific crime, and then another, and another, against a human being - another black bodied person.  I become exhausted, and sometimes feel frozen.  That is when I go back into that overwhelm with feelings of despair and deep sadness and then I retreat.  I am not watering the seeds of love and compassion for myself and certainly cannot find the energy to help others.   Valerie Brown asks in her essay "How Do You Fight Injustice without Hating?"  She talks about a meditation that looks to our ancestors and descendents to "guide, protect, and support us" and find resilience in our "strong and calm hearts".   Having that resilience is what I hope I can nurture in supporting myself and eventually others.

Our teacher Thich Nhat Hanh says "true love helps you and the other person suffer less".  He shares the four elements of true love, "loving kindness, compassion, joy, and inclusiveness."  He says we must begin with ourselves and then spread to others this true love.  If we can "generate a feeling of joy and happiness in ourselves, that is true love, and if we can generate the feeling of joy and happiness in helping the other person generate feeling joy and happiness - that is loving kindness."  In bell hooks book "All About Love" she says "when we are loving we openly and honestly express care, affection, respect, commitment and trust" to others.

Two of my daughters have been going to protests day and night, making and posting signs and spreading the word about various injustices in this country.  One has been sharing information through social media.  This is not my method of sharing - but it helped inform me and many others about important information we may not have known about. I really am very proud of both of them. However, I received an angry email from a family member about some of the postings calling my daughter ignorant, uniformed, and hateful.  This was certainly not expressing care, respect, or trust. After receiving this email and crying about it for an hour - I responded - but only after sitting with my sadness and anger, feeling it in my body, - and remembering what Valerie wrote about - "Fight without Hating - lessons in power and love".  I responded out of love for my daughter and shared that she was actually filled with love and not hate and that her intentions are to support those in need and to help end injustices in our systems and institutions that have continuously harmed people of color, immigrants, and indigenous people.  While it was difficult writing back, I really felt power in my response, honoring my kids' commitment to encouraging peace and healing. However, I am now struggling with the practice of finding the power to forgive.  That is much harder for me to do than to love.  But as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. says "he who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love."

I cherish an experience I had after a small protest in my neighborhood on Wisconsin Ave about two weeks ago.  After the march my friend and I (who are white) sat in front of the the National Cathedral listening to many young black students beautifully articulate their thoughts and feelings with fierce power and compassion in their words and songs.  I felt so fortunate to have been there and grateful that we were welcomed.  As we left - we crossed the street and saw two of the young students that were part of the protest.  We stopped to say hello and smiled and tried to find a way to say we were sorry - and sort of stumbled on our words - and they immediately said hello and thanks for coming and asked to take a photo with each of us.  With their phones - one stood next to me with her arm around me and the young man stood next to my friend with his arm around her and they smiled and took their photos with us (and we all forgot about distancing - it wasn't important at that moment).  I wanted to cry - all we did was show up - and say hello and smile - but that was enough.  As Thay would say "love every living being, with no discrimination about race, religion, citizenship, the element of non-discrimination, and inclusiveness can make love infinite and will continue to grow to include everyone in the cosmos."   

I know now more than ever how much my mindfulness practice has taught me to love more, live more in the present and find understanding and compassion in all.  I continue to learn and have setbacks and make mistakes but with mindfulness and focusing practices I am able to be more aware of my emotions and how they feel in my body.   And in that feeling body I find resilience in humming, singing and movement as they bring me a sense of calm and ease in body and mind.

Some questions to consider:

-How does True Love show up for you during these challenging times?

-How do you practice loving all beings?

-How do you experience showing up for justice and how does it foster love?

-What ways might you show up to fight hatred with love?

I look forward to seeing you on Monday night,

In light and love,

Camille