Camille will lead on Monday, Jan. 4. She shares:
In our practice this evening I would like to share with you a 13 minute video that I find both comforting and nourishing. In this video the Plum Village monks and nuns are chanting Avalokitesvara. Avalokitesvara is the Bodhisattva of Compassion.
While the past several months I have practiced deep compassion for those who have suffered greatly from the pandemic, racial violence, oppression, loss of homes and loss of family members, I have practiced the least in my own back yard ignoring calls for help and understanding and causing suffering to myself and loved ones.
In the last couple Monday night gatherings our discussions have revolved around how to practice together during times of stress and how to let go of what gets in the way and to practice self compassion. The Five Mindfulness Trainings consistently remind us to practice compassion and understanding in all we do. They encourage us to build peace and happiness in ourselves and family and then naturally allowing that to radiate to others. The practice for me is to practice - and not just hear the words but to engage in body and mind.
An experience this morning reminded me of how I can easily forget to share that compassion and understanding with family. My husband who has been suffering greatly with family issues and, like many others in this pandemic, has had challenges with his business, has been reaching out for help and I have not really been present for him. It became all so clear for me today. When I got up this morning our dog was missing and without taking a breath - I had seeds of anger and anxiety building up in me and was ready to blame my husband knowing he had taken him out without a leash. Then my husband appeared with blood dripping down his face and proceeded to tell me he had fallen on the ice in the snow in the dark and blacked out as he was trying to catch our dog. Realizing that my body language was ready to do battle, my vocal chords were ready to fire up - I stopped there, took several breaths, and sat down and thankfully listened to him. I can often react and jump at the occasion to blame but remembered a mindfulness training that I have to practice regularly, "Loving Speech and Deep listening". It shares "Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivating loving speech and compassionate listening in order to relieve suffering and to promote reconciliation and peace in myself and among other people." In his eyes I saw the suffering of tension and anxiety that has been building up in the past year, and yet he proceeded to tell me how worried he was about the dog and how he walked in the dark in the snow after his black out for about 5 miles looking for him. I finally felt a flood of compassion and empathy I had been sharing with others but had forgotten to give to him.
My husband is well (after a few stitches and a clear CT scan) and we found our dog (chilly but happy to be home) and we shared a precious moment of relief and happiness. I am thankful for the teachings and again am reminded of another Mindfuness Training - the second one, "I will practice looking deeply to see that the happiness and suffering of others are not separate from my own happiness and suffering; that true happiness is not possible without understanding and compassion."
I wonder if you might consider what conditions allow you to find and cultivate compassion in yourself and others.
I hope you get a chance to listen and watch the chanting - it is one way I am able to cultivate compassion in myself and others.
I look forward to seeing you on Monday night.
Much love and light,
Camille