Monday, Nov 14, we will meet online.
Need Zoom tech support? Email Phyllis here.
(support available before sangha starts)
This week Annie will facilitate.
One of my personal challenges has been to be in touch with my deepest intention to be kind and loving when I am reacting to something that has made me angry or frustrated. Before I met Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay) and the sangha, I had not learned how to take responsibility for my own thoughts and feelings and I often assumed that other people were out to hurt me. And so I would dump my hurt back onto them.
One of the things that drew me immediately to the Plum Village community and to Thay’s practice revealed itself on my first retreat. I was there with all four kids ages 6-9, and felt way out of my depth. I was, as they say, a “hot mess.” And yet every single person was kind and nice and helpful. I was truly taken aback by their kindness. And I wanted to be like that.
These days it still sometimes feels challenging to stay in a place of kindness and love - to stay in what Thay calls our mind of love - with the division and despair, political upheaval and violence all around.
In Cultivating the Mind of Love, Thay writes, “Our mind of love may be buried deep in our store consciousness, under many layers of forgetfulness and suffering.”
I’ve heard and read Thay’s sharing about his first love experience as a way to describe a practice of reverent and non-attached love. We can learn a lot by reflecting on our first love. What led us to love that person the way we did? What did we recognize in them that watered the seeds of love in us? Can we see the whole cosmos and its impermanence in the person we love?
My “first love” experience happened when I arrived at the University of Michigan in 1979. I met an adorable boy named Pete at a party and I remember sitting on his lap wearing a polo shirt with an alligator on it. He reached over and pinched the alligator and said “watch out these things bite.” I cracked up and fell in love.
Upon reflection, in Pete I saw a kind of light heartedness and someone not attached to views or the way things should be. I also remember how his face would look when he would see me— like he had been waiting for that moment his whole life. I believe this is the kind of reverence that Thay describes in his own first love.
When I reflect on this memory with the eyes of mindfulness, I wonder: How can I offer that reverence and non-attachment to everyone I meet? And when I see those beautiful qualities of openness and loving kindness manifesting in other people, can I celebrate all of them?
Thay’s Love Poem is about his first love and Sister Hieu Duc put the poem to music beautifully (here). Here is an excerpt:
There are so many things I love-
your eyes, the blue sky,
your voice, the birds in the trees,
your smile, and the butterflies on the flowers.
I learn each moment
to be a better lover.
I learn each moment to discover my true love.
Your eyes are beautiful.
So is your voice, your smile,
the sky,
the birds,
the butterflies.
I love them. I vow to protect them. Yes.
I know to love is to respect.
And reverence
is the nature of my love.
Below you will also find a quote from Bishop Michael Curry’s book The Way of Love.
On Monday we will be online and will enjoy a guided meditation on our mind of love, followed by walking meditation and silent meditation. After that, we will have time to share about our experiences and our practice. Some questions to consider may be:
What or who was your first love and what did you love about them or recognize in them?
What did that first love feel like in your body/heart/mind?
Where do you see or express or experience that kind of love in your life today?
What helps you stay present to your mind of love - how do you water those seeds?
With love,
Annie.
From The Way of Love by Michael Curry:
Love turns the world upside down
…the love I’m asking you to discover inside yourself - or reconnect to - is something fierce. This love is a verb, it’s an action with force and follow through.
When we pull love out of the abstract, really putting it to work, it starts to reveal its extraordinary power. Love as an action is the only thing that has ever changed the world for the better.