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Annie will facilitate and continue with the series on the Three Marks of Existence (more on the three marks at the bottom).
This week we will focus on and practice the second mark: non-self.
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Thay (Thich Nhat Hanh) often teaches the concepts of non-self using the example of a flower. He says:
“The flower is made of non-flower elements. We can describe the flower as being full of everything. There is nothing that is not present in the flower. We see sunshine, we see the rain, we see clouds, we see the earth, and we also see time and space in the flower.
A flower, like everything else, is made entirely of non-flower elements. The whole cosmos has come together in order to help the flower manifest herself, The flower is full of everything except one thing: a separate self, a separate identity.
The flower cannot be by herself alone. The flower has to inter-be with the sunshine, the cloud and everything in the cosmos. If we understand being in terms of inter-being, then we are much closer to the truth. Inter-being is not being and it is not non-being. Inter-being means being empty of a separate identity, empty of a separate self.”
What does this mean for you and me? And, how does this insight help me live a more conscious, caring life? Here are a few thoughts for us to ponder together:
We know from our last conversation on impermanence that everything is constantly in the process of transformation. So, if we can see that everything in the cosmos is made of everything else and we remember that all of life is changing, then we can see that the nature of the universe is like an ocean of ever changing waves. Waves are a temporary shape that the water takes just as we are a temporary shape taken by the cosmos.
One image that I like to reflect on is that each form (people, furniture, trees, etc.,) is like a whirlpool in a body of water. The whirlpool is real - we can perceive it - but we can't separate it from the water around it because water keeps flowing in and out of the whirlpool.
Whirlpools are created by and rely on causes and conditions (a certain flow to the water, a certain assortment of obstacles) to manifest. When those conditions no longer manifest, the whirlpool will no longer be there. And, what we are calling the whirlpool is constantly changing it's size, shape, and water molecules. So we can't ever think of this whirlpool as something that exists beyond this one moment.
In exactly the same way, every aspect of "me" is in constant flux - nothing remains the same from one minute to the next. The cells of my body are dying and being reformed, my thoughts and feelings are coming and going, and my perceptions and my sensory awarenesses are ever changing. There is no "Annie" to hold on to from one moment to the next.
When we grasp this insight, there is no one for us to apply our self-judgments to, so we are less caught by beliefs about ourselves like: I'm a good person. I'm a bad person. I'm smart. I'm kind, I'm selfish, etc. Those don't make sense anymore.
When we extend the insight of non-self to everything in the cosmos, we are less caught in our views and judgments about everyone and everything else, too. We can see that the reason that we have a certain disease or a certain president is because of causes and conditions, not something inherent to any one or any thing. There isn't one thing at fault.
Having a way to loosen our judgements about ourselves and others is a big step toward less suffering. I remember hearing a teacher once ask us why we would ever look in the mirror and judge ourselves as ugly. We didn't cause our face to be this way, it is based on causes and conditions like our genetics, our health, etc. Why would we feel responsible?
Even though we aren't fully responsible, we do want to contribute to less suffering and to do so we can take good care of the causes and conditions around us, in whatever form they appear. To take good care of our face, we might use a face lotion to prevent the skin from cracking. To take care of our friends and family, we might share our resources or cook a delicious meal.
We don't know what taking loving care of this one cause might mean for the world. Maybe the meal we cooked is the cause of an inspiration for someone to offer care to another friend who is in hospice. Everything is connected through causes and conditions.
When we can see that there is nothing that we can say is ME apart from everything else, our lives can be less fraught with trying to maintain a certain image and we have more freedom to live authentically and to care about the world as a whole.
I love how the ARISE contemplation on the 3rd Mindfulness Training puts it:
I am committed to looking tenderly at my suffering, knowing that I am not separate from others and that the seeds of suffering contain the seeds of joy. I am not afraid of bold love that fosters justice and belonging and tender love that seeks peace and connection. I cherish myself and my suffering without discrimination. I cherish this body and mind as an act of healing for myself and for others. I cherish this breath. I cherish this moment. I cherish the liberation of all beings guided by the wisdom and solidity of the sangha. This is my path of true love.
After our meditation period, we can reflect on non-self and how it manifests in our lives. Here are some questions to consider:
How do I judge myself and/or others?
What are the ways that my life is interrelated with others?
What comes up when I reflect on myself as a whirlpool?
Is there anything about the idea of non-self that makes me nervous or that I don't like?
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The Three Marks of Existence (sometimes called the Three Dharma Seals) are the basic characteristics of our world. Understanding them helps us see the truth about life and transform suffering.
The three marks are:
(1) annica — impermanence
(2) anatta — non-self
(3) nirvana — the joy of letting go of concepts.*
*Thich Nhat Hanh teaches nirvana as this third mark, though other teachers often refer to the third mark as dukkha, or suffering. Because nirvana and suffering are two sides of the same coin, “No mud, no lotus”, we can see that nirvana is as much of a mark of existence as suffering.