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Braiding Interbeing Though Humility
This week Magda will facilitate about how the universal value of humility can foster
ancestral and spiritual connections that help us heal, renew and inter-be.
Minutes after I found out that my father had died, I sat on the rich humus of our backyard. There, among the many tropical trees that he and my mom had lovingly planted, I built him a temple out of soil, roots and branches. There were so many roots and branches surrounding me, as if they were all working to braid a cradle of support for me in return for my father’s many years tending them.
Touching the earth, I took refuge in it. Receiving what Thich Nhat Hanh refers to as the earth’s solid and inclusive energy, I calmed down and began my healing process. With an intense feeling of grief and belonging, I started anew.
At the age of 17, sitting on the humus, I made my pledge: my father’s short life would be prolonged through mine, a life lived by the values he taught me.
We moved away from my first home, whose address I will always remember, not long after that day; soon after that, I departed for the United States mainland.
HUMILITY
The most important values my father sought to teach me were generosity, dignity and humility. While my father did not lack in social and cultural capital, he believed in and followed the precept of humility in the original Christian sense, a term that derives from the term ‘humus’.
One of my most transformative experiences was when my father took me to the home of a poor family with whom I ate a delicious meal. That experience reminds me of the Buddha’s humility. Despite his social and cultural capital, he gratefully accepted the food offered by anyone, including the untouchables. He formed a strong bond with Svasti, an untouchable buffalo herder boy whom he met early in his pilgrimage. Svasti shared a fistful of rice with the Buddha. “Surely he won’t find my rice too humble,” he thought. Svasti also made the Buddha a grass cushion on which he could meditate under the Bodhi tree.
ROOTS
“Change your opinions, keep to your principles;
Change your leaves, keep intact your roots.”
Victor Hugo
Like Thich Nhat Hanh, my father felt a strong connection to his ancestors, a value he transmitted to me. While I have branched out from Puerto Rico in all kinds of directions, my first home remains where my father is, where he is one with the Boricua earth. In the winters of my life I know that I can always recharge by returning to my roots. Like the roots of deciduous trees that store water and sugar in the winter in preparation for the spring, my roots always nourish me as I prepare to branch out again.
I visualize my father’s remains as roots that connect me to the earth. Kimmerer in Braiding Sweetgrass explains the value of such connections: “Gathering roots holds up a mirror between the map of the earth and the map of our minds. At a certain angle of that mirror, the routes converge and we find our way back home.” My father’s roots map my way back home from wherever I am in the labyrinth of my journeys.
I recently sat on the earth over my father’s grave and smelled the humus. Touching and smelling the earth have become important to me. It has been said that smelling the earth helps release oxytocin, the chemical that helps mother and child bond. I am not sure why the idea of bonding has been limited to one gender. My father is to me as nurturing as mother earth. When I visit my father’s grave, mother earth transforms into father earth.
BRAIDING ROOTS
During a recent visit to Old San Juan, I saw a powerful image of multiple roots crisscrossing. The roots belonged to several ancient trees, and it was not easy to tell which roots belonged to which tree. I wondered how much they depended on each other. After all, these trees had been neighbors for centuries.
These crisscross patterns make me think of the symbiotic reciprocity - often heightened by harsh conditions - between species. Kimmerer suggests that fungal networks appear to redistribute carbohydrates from tree to tree in “Robin Hood” fashion. And regardless of how much starch each has stored, trees act as a collective. If one tree fruits, they all fruit. All flourishing is mutual.
What if our human roots crisscrossed? Imagine a world where we all could stand, not just in other people’s shoes, but in other people’s roots. Imagine we stepped out of the confines of our tribal roots to form braids with the roots of other tribes.
BRAIDING BRANCHES
“Our spiritual ancestors have all given birth to us, and they, too, continue to give birth to us. In my country, we say that an authentic teacher has the power to give birth to a disciple. If you have enough spiritual strength, you will give birth to a spiritual child, and through your life and practice, you continue giving birth even after you die.“
Thich Nhat Hanh in Living Buddha, Living Christ.
For several decades I have branched out into the world trying to connect with exemplars of humility, forming spiritual extended families everywhere. This is how I learned about my spiritual father, “a humble man” as described by Martin Luther King, who nominated him for the Noble Peace Prize. When my mother asked me who Thich Nhat Hanh is, I responded: “He is a humble Buddhist monk who wants to transform suffering.” The Christian message of my earth father intersects with the Buddhist message of my spiritual father. They both speak the language of humility. When I found Thich Nhat Hanh I also started anew.
I am sure that my father would agree with Thay’s teachings on complexes and the illusion of a separate self in No Mud, No Lotus. Thay explains that feelings of inferiority and superiority - even comparing oneself to another with the goal of pursuing equality - only reinforce the illusion of a separate self.
What if social status were defined by generosity rather than by how much we own, so that wealth meant having enough to give it away; what if we embraced the idea of humility instead of our self-righteous perceptions?
Imagine a world where our branches formed braids, in extended families connected by humility - a world where we all spoke the language of reciprocity.
RAINBOW EUCALYPTUS
One of my favorite trees is the rainbow eucalyptus because of its healing qualities and its immense multicolored beauty. As the tree grows, its outer bark delicately peels to reveal the inner bark, which starts out in pastel green and deepens into orange, red, pastel blue, and sunset pink hues.
Imagine a heart in its trunk, emanating and absorbing multicolored streaks as it beats, sending them back and forth from roots to branches, from branches to roots as life’s seasons pass; imagine these roots and branches braiding a rainbow mandala of humility.
A GOOD CARD
When I was born, destiny dealt me a good card, for it gave me my earth father. After he died, destiny dealt me another good card, for it gave me my spiritual father. A Christian and a Buddhist, both humble.
Breathing in, I imagine our roots braiding; breathing out, I imagine our branches braiding. Breathing in…braiding, breathing out…braiding.
A Braiding Pledge: May we all learn to form braids from our roots and branches.
After our meditation period we will reflect on how we braid interbeing. You may
consider the following questions:
1) Who has been one of the most influential blood or spiritual ancestors in your life? How have their values been manifested through you?
2) Have you ever been able to feel connected to someone else’s ancestry? How?
3) Describe how the value of humility manifests in your life or the life of someone you admire.
4) Describe a powerful moment in which you felt you started anew.
5) Describe an experience in which the earth felt as a refuge.