Earth holder for my mother

artwork by Magda Cabrero

Monday, April 3, we will meet online.

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On Monday night our sangha will honor Earth Day (April 22). The Chesapeake Earth Holder Community will join our practice. Magda will facilitate and lead us through the Five Earth Touchings, a guided meditation to contemplate what has been transmitted to us by our blood and spiritual ancestors. Participants will be able to practice in their chair if they prefer.  

All of us have to become buddhas in order for our planet to have a chance”. Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet, p. 5

Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay) asks us to follow the example of Dharanimdara, a Bodhisattva he describes as “the one who holds the Earth.” Thay declares that Earth holders are needed in these times; that all those who have that source of strength in themselves need to find one another to turn this century into one of spirituality and collective awakening. Earth holders, he says, should meditate together, creating communities of resistance that promote interbeing with the Earth. Today we have invited the Chesapeake Earth Holder Community, of which I have recently become a member, to join our practice.


TINY ME, COLOSSAL ME

Ahimsa and Truth are my two lungs. I cannot live without them.
Mahatma Gandhi

Recently, before deciding whether to meet the Earth Holders on the first day of spring to protest against four banks that finance fossil fuel projects, I was conflicted as I feared the violence that sometimes accompanies protest gatherings. But as I joined the protesters at Franklin Park in DC, I was surprised to feel a peaceful conviction that I was in the right place. My sense of peace never left me throughout the demonstration. 

While my decision to join the protest may have seemed merely political, it was the result of my spiritual transformation. I saw this protest as a way to honor the teaching of ahimsa.

There are two opposite words derived from hims, the Sanskrit translation of to injure: himsa for injury or violence, and ahimsa for non-injury and non-violence. I have been pondering the ways in which we cause himsa, and are subjected to it, even if not apparent from the outside. These actions often take the form of unintentional aggressions. 

My experience has been that the sustained practice of mindfulness helps us become much more aware of the existence of these two in ourselves. It helps us cultivate a kind of prajña, or understanding, that transforms and awakens us. We begin to develop a bodhicitta, or a Buddha mind, gaining the kind of insight we need to guide our actions. 

Sometimes this insight becomes so deep and strong, like a thundering voice that rises from the inside, that it can no longer be ignored. It becomes an aspiration, even a vow. This is what I explain to those who ask me if I have changed because I follow the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh and the Buddha. 

One example of this process of transformation is the way that I have used Buddhist teachings to reflect on how my life has been linked, one way or another, to climate change and the suffering it has inflicted. I am convinced that I am both an aggressor who has contributed to climate change in my life in the USA, and the victim as I have been deeply hurt by the suffering of all of those I love in Puerto Rico. 


TRIBUTE TO MY MOTHER

I write this in tribute to my 90-year-old mother while she is alive. My mother is the strongest person I know, and this is no exaggeration. But she always crumbles at the sight of a tree that has been uprooted by Hurricane Maria. Her worst reaction was to the sight of one of Old San Juan’s most ancient trees after it was uprooted by the storm. I think of my mother when I listen to “Mi Viejo (My Old Man)”, a song that Puerto Rican Danny Rivera dedicated to his father. Here I translate and reimagine some of the lyrics:

“[She] keeps her pain inside

[She] has a long sadness, 

from going on for so long

Now [she] walks slowly, 

like forgiving the wind

I am your blood, mother

I am your silence and your time 

I look at [her] from afar, 

but we are so different.”

From a distance, living in the mainland of a colossal country, the world’s second biggest polluter, I look at my debilitated mother in tiny Puerto Rico. We are so different, yet I sometimes feel as though we are the same. Colossal me, tiny me. 

I can’t let my mother’s suffering be in vain.


MODEL OF SUSTAINABILITY

In her simple ways, my mother is a model of sustainable consumption. A roll of paper towel lasts her a long time; she divides each segment into two and recycles each piece until it is no longer usable. A bottle of dish soap lasts her an eternity. She has never owned a dishwasher and rarely turns on her air conditioner despite the Puerto Rican climate. One of her guiding principles is to always keep a balance. Excess is destructive. At restaurants she is often outraged at the increasingly large portions and the waste. She always insists on small portions; I always expect the words “un poquito (a little)” whenever I ask her if she wants anything to drink or eat. My husband’s dream is to someday consume like my mother. Yet while she hates to waste or overspend, she always has money set aside for very generous tips, especially to young people. 

My mother does not deserve to be a victim of the thoughtless actions that have contributed to climate change.

BELLS OF MINDFULNESS

“Are we like those poor people in Pripyat, sleepwalking into a catastrophe?”
David Attenborough, A life on our planet: My witness statement and a vision for the future. 2022, p.101 

Thich Nhat Hanh says that we should view natural disasters as bells of mindfulness to wake us up. Hurricanes Maria and Fiona have been my bells of mindfulness. Below I offer accounts of these two awakening experiences: 

FIONA, September 14, 2022
Now I know what it feels like. I am sitting in the foyer of my mother’s home, far from any windows that might be shattered by Fiona. The storm has stalled to our south, and its future path and strength are uncertain. I feel alone and scared as the only caretaker of my 89-year-old mother, who is wearing a cast. The general anxiety I sense in Puerto Rico is the result of collective trauma; in a few days, the island will mark the fifth anniversary of the arrival of Hurricane Maria. I feel tiny, and I feel the tininess of Puerto Rico.  While my mother makes me coffee with an improvised kerosene stove the following morning, I reflect on the prolonged misery my mother endured after the last storm and wonder how long Puerto Rico’s misery will last, how much longer it will have to deal with the social breakdown, the increased violence against women and children. The rich and young head north, the poor and elderly get poorer and lonelier. I think of so many other caretakers on the island, often living in dire conditions and looking after people with even greater health challenges.

MARIA, September 20, 2017
I am sitting in my home’s comfortable, air-conditioned living room in the continental United States, still not quite awake to the I do-what-I-want dream of mindless consumption and a careless, wasteful lifestyle. For eleven hours I, and countless other Puerto Ricans living on the mainland, fear the worst for my loved ones on the island. During those eleven hours, Hamilton’s Puerto Rican-born creator Lin-Manuel Miranda, no doubt fearing the worst too, creates a mindfulness bell: a song about each of the 78 towns in Puerto Rico. No town’s suffering will be forgotten. In the coming weeks, months and years, Puerto Rico would face an unprecedented ordeal: the longest apagón or blackout in American history and a humanitarian crisis whose effects are still felt today.

EL COQUÍ

“… you know that forests are lungs outside of our bodies …. We are imprisoned in our small selves, thinking only of some comfortable conditions for this small self, while we destroy our large self.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, “Environmental Interbeing”. Mindfulness Bell, Aug. 1992, Issue 7 

British naturalist David Attenborough begins his book A Life on Our Planet with a description of the aftermath of the Chernobyl explosion in Pripyat, Ukraine. He invokes this catastrophe to describe how the sixth mass extinction might be experienced by the species it has erased and by the species it threatens today. I believe that he could well have used the aftermath of Hurricane Maria as another example. According to David Pogue in How to Prepare For Climate Change, one hour of category five winds delivers a force five times more powerful than that of the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima. One of Maria’s most catastrophic effects was on El Yunque tropical rainforest. The forest was completely defoliated. Its highest areas, above 3,000 feet, were the hardest hit and might take a century to recover. 

Attenborough’s biggest concern is with the rapid deforestation and dramatic decline in biodiversity seen across the world. He uses Puerto Rico as an example, as it has seen the disappearance of almost 90% of the mass of insects and spiders living in the rainforest canopy. Several species of the beloved coquí, a tiny frog whose nightly song lulls Puerto Ricans to sleep, are now endangered. As I write this I think of Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring, which begins with an imagined, though not far-fetched, “spring without voices.” El Coqui’s extinction would be another, more subtle loss for an island that has already endured so many of them.

MEDITATORS, ARTISTS & WARRIORS


As I drive my mother by lovely Puerto Rican landscapes to raise her spirits, I feel grateful and hopeful at the many shades of green that have returned. Nevertheless, I cannot help but wonder, knowing that hurricane season, which arrives earlier these days, will soon return: will the green last, will these trees resist, remain rooted? Holding on to hope, I think of all of the green-fingered stewards who work to rewild, reforest and rediversify. Thich Nhat Hanh describes our earth stewards as meditators, artists and warriors. I am grateful for them, for the earth holders all over the world, and for all those strong as trees like my mother.


Some Questions to Reflect on:

1 What are some ways I engage or wish to further engage in ahimsa?

2. How do the opposites of himsa and ahimsa manifest in my life?

3. How has my mindfulness practice changed my aspiration and volition?

4. How do I cultivate being non-judgmental at the understanding of my own himsa as well as that of others’?

5.  How has climate change impacted me and/or those I love?


The Five Touchings of the Earth

Modified from Plum Village Chanting Book 2002

- I -

In gratitude, I bow to my ancestors, my mother, my father and all generations of ancestors.

(Bell)(All touch the earth)  

I see my mother as a young woman, smiling, vibrant, alive, innocent, with so many ideas and plans for the future. I can feel her energy in me fully. I see my father as a young man, fresh, at ease, determined, engaged, wanting to contribute to the world. I can feel his energy in me. I feel their eyes looking out of my eyes now.

I see my grandmother and grandfather on my mother’s side and how they worked to raise my own mother in the best way that they could, and my grandmother and grandfather on my father’s side and all of the difficulties that they faced. And I see all of my ancestors streaming back in time, whether they lived on this same land or another land, and I know that they worked hard in their lives in order for me to live my life now. I feel their joys and their sorrows, their expectations, and hopes, which have been passed down to me, in my very bones.

I carry in me the life, blood, experience, wisdom, happiness, and sorrow of all of these previous generations. I open my heart, flesh, and bones to receive the energy of insight, love, and experience transmitted to me by all my ancestors. The suffering and all the elements that need to be transformed, I am practicing to transform. I see all of their beautiful intentions and I feel love, compassion and sorrow for their hurts.  I pour out all of the negative habit energies and experiences I have received from my ancestors, into the support of Mother Earth beneath me, leaving only their inner goodness -- their Buddha nature -- in me.

I know that parents always love and support their children and grandchildren, although they are not always able to express it skillfully because of difficulties they themselves encountered. As a continuation of my ancestors, I bow deeply with gratitude for all that my parents, grandparents, and ancestors went through to provide me with life today.  I open myself to allow their energy to flow through me and I ask them for their support, protection, and strength.

(Pause) (Bell Tap) (All stand up)

- 2 -

In gratitude, I bow to all of the beings who have supported me on my spiritual journey.

(Bell) (All touch the earth)

I see in myself my teachers and friends, the ones who show me the way of love and understanding, the way to breathe, smile, forgive, and live deeply in the present moment. I see through my teachers all teachers over many generations and traditions, going back to the ones who began my spiritual family thousands of years ago.

I see the Buddha and the Bodhisattvas; Jesus and Mary; Moses and Abraham; Mohammed and the Sufi Masters; Krishna; Mother Earth and Father Sun, and the many wise and courageous women and men who have shown us the way. I see them all as my spiritual ancestors. Their energy has deeply transformed the world. Their energy has entered me and is creating peace, joy, understanding, and loving-kindness.

Without these spiritual ancestors, I would not know the way to practice to bring peace and happiness into my life and into the lives of my family and society. I open my heart and my body to receive the energy of understanding, loving-kindness, and protection from these awakened ones, and I send my deep gratitude to each and every one of them.  Without them, I would not have the capacity to truly be there for my life and my loved ones. 

I know that I am the continuation of their teachings, and of the community of practice over many generations. I ask these spiritual ancestors to transmit to me their infinite source of energy, peace, stability, understanding, and love. I will try my best to use this energy to practice so that I can transform suffering in myself and in the world, and to transmit their energy to future generations of practitioners.

(Pause) (Bell Tap) (All stand up)

- 3-

In gratitude, I bow to the Earth and all of the Beings who live on it with me.

(Bell) (All touch the earth)

I see that I am whole, protected, and nourished by this Earth and by the living beings who have made life easy and possible for me through all their efforts. I see all those who have worked hard to build schools, hospitals, bridges, and roads, to protect human rights, to develop science and technology, and to fight for freedom and social justice, as well as those who have suffered as a result of being excluded from many of these institutions and the larger society.

I see myself touching all parts of this amazing planet – the blue sky and white clouds, the enormous beauty of the forests, the healing waters, and the solidity of the mountain ranges. I offer my intention to live in balance with all life on this Earth and I feel the energy of this land penetrating my body and soul, supporting and accepting me.

I vow to cultivate and maintain this energy and return it to support and protect the land, air, streams and oceans and animals. I will work to transmit this understanding to future generations. I vow to contribute my part in transforming the violence, hatred, ignorance and delusion that still lie deep in the collective consciousness of this society so that future generations will have more safety, joy, and peace. I ask this land for its protection and support and offer my gratitude for its wisdom, support, beauty, and for its infinite acceptance.  

(Pause) (Bell Tap) (All stand up)

- 4-

In gratitude and compassion, I bow down and transmit my energy to those I love.

(Bell) (All touch the earth)

All the energy I have received I now want to transmit to my father, my mother, everyone I love, and all who have suffered and worried because of me, and for me.

I know I have not always been mindful in my daily life, which may have caused my loved ones to suffer. I also know that those who love me have had their own difficulties. I see that they have suffered because they were not lucky enough to have an environment that encouraged their full development, and I feel compassion for their suffering. I transmit my energy to my beloved ones: my mother, my father, my brothers, my sisters, my husband, my partner, my wife, my daughter, my son; to the family of friends I have created around me; and to the husband, wife, partner, and children I may have in the future.

I transmit my energy so that their pain will be relieved, so they can smile and feel the joy of being alive. I want all of them to be healthy and joyful. I know that when they are happy, I will also be happy. I no longer feel resentment towards any of them. I ask my ancestors and spiritual teachers to focus their energies toward each of them, to protect and support them. I know that I am not separate from them. I am one with those I love.

I send my heart full of gratitude to those I love for their willingness hand-in-hand with me, even as imperfect as I am. 

(Pause)(Bell Tap) (All stand up)

- 5-

In understanding and compassion, I bow down to reconcile myself with all those who have made me or those I love suffer.

(Bell) (All touch the earth)

I open my heart and send forth my energy of love and understanding to everyone who has made me suffer, to those who may have destroyed much of my life and the lives of those I love.

I know now that these people have themselves undergone a lot of suffering and that their hearts are tight with pain, anger, hatred and delusion. I touch that pain and feel its sorrow and see that anyone who suffers that much will make those around him or her suffer. I know they may have been unlucky, never having the chance to be cared for and loved. Life and society have dealt them so many hardships. They have been wronged, abused and taught to hate. They have not been guided in the path of mindful living. They have been stripped of the innocence and joy of life. They have accumulated wrong perceptions about life, about me, and about us. They have hurt us and the people we love.

I ask my ancestors and spiritual teachers to channel to these persons who have made us suffer the energy of love and protection, so that their 

hearts will be able to open to receive love and blossom like a flower. I offer my deep wish that they can transform and experience the joy of living, so that they will not continue to make themselves and others suffer.

I see their suffering and do not want to hold any feelings of hatred or anger in myself toward them. I do not want them to suffer. I channel my energy of love and understanding to them and ask all my ancestors to help them to transform and to help me to forgive.

 (Full Bell)(All stand up)

(Bell to conclude the Touchings of the Earth.)