This Monday March 27, we will meet in person.
See calendar for online and in person schedule here.
Address for the OHMC meditation space:
3812 Northampton St. NW
Washington DC 20015
This Monday evening Annie will facilitate. We will meet at 7PM for meditation in person at the OHMC meditation space at 3812 Northampton St NW DC.
We will have the opportunity to read the Five Mindfulness Trainings* together.
This week we will focus our discussion on the first training, Reverence for Life:
Reverence For Life
Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I am committed to cultivating the insight of interbeing and compassion and learning ways to protect the lives of people, animals, plants, and minerals. I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to support any act of killing in the world, in my thinking, or in my way of life. Seeing that harmful actions arise from anger, fear, greed, and intolerance, which in turn come from dualistic and discriminative thinking, I will cultivate openness, non-discrimination, and non-attachment to views in order to transform violence, fanaticism, and dogmatism in myself and in the world.
In this training Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay), reminds us that our anger is not a small thing. Our anger, often born of dualistic and discriminative thinking, can lead to causing harm, even killing if we don’t know how to transform it. Even if we don’t kill anyone, our anger can cause us to suffer quite a bit, cause others to suffer, and cause families and communities to break. Our dualistic thinking can often manifest as thinking we are right/good and the other party is wrong/bad.
In the 12-step program I belong to, we have a practice of writing down the people and institutions we are angry at or have resentment toward. One by one, we take a look at each situation using meditation/mindfulness and concentration. We get clear on the facts of the situation and more importantly we get clear on what our role in the conflict has been.
This part can be difficult for me because I don’t like to admit that I’ve done something wrong! And it’s so easy to slip into defensiveness if someone suggests that I have. So when dealing with a conflict, it’s important for me to practice mindfulness and let go of my dualistic thinking, and especially practice to give up being a victim.
The 8th Mindfulness Training of the Order of Interbeing suggests, “We will not behave as a victim but be active in finding ways to reconcile and resolve all conflicts however small.” And in the 6th: “Practice mindful breathing and mindful walking and acknowledge, embrace and look deeply into our anger. We will learn to look with the eyes of compassion at those we think are the cause of our anger.”
Thay has shared many times about the ways that we continue to feed our anger by telling ourselves stories that cause us to re-feel the anger again and again. Looking at our part in a conflict can help us see the way out of this dangerous and dualistic loop.
The Fourth training on Loving Speech and Deep Listening says: “I know that the roots of anger can be found in my wrong perceptions and lack of understanding of the suffering in myself and the other person. I will speak and listen in a way that can help myself and the other person to transform suffering and see the way out of difficult situations.”
So if we want to be sure our anger doesn’t lead to causing harm (and even killing) we can consider these steps to help lead us out of dualistic thinking:
Become aware of our anger. What does it feel like in our body?
Don’t say or do anything right away. Breathe and practice sitting and/or walking meditation.
Stop feeding our anger by re-telling our story of victimhood to ourselves or to others.
Take good care of our anger by embracing it with our loving mindfulness. “My dear little anger, I know you are there.”
Look deeply to see the wrong perceptions we may be holding of ourselves and the other person(s). Is there another feeling such as fear or sadness underneath our anger? How might the other person be suffering too? Is it possible to let go of our attachment to thinking we are right and they are wrong?
Take note of the ways our thinking, speaking or acting may have been part of the causes and conditions for the conflict and make an effort to do something differently in the future. How can we continue to cultivate openness, non-discrimination and non-attachment to views in our everyday lives?
This week Annie will offer a guided meditation on taking good care of our anger along with walking meditation and co-reading of the Five Mindfulness Trainings. We will then have time to share whatever is on our hearts.
Some questions we might consider for sharing:
Do you ever feel angry?
Has your anger ever escalated into harmful words or actions?
How might you practice to transform your anger?
We look forward to seeing you on Monday evening.
With love,
Annie.
*The Five Mindfulness Trainings are practices of compassion and understanding and are based on the precepts developed during the time of the Buddha to be the foundation of practice for the entire lay practice community. I have translated these precepts for modern times, because mindfulness is at the foundation of each one of them. With mindfulness, we are aware of what is going on in our bodies, our feelings, our minds and the world, and we avoid doing harm to ourselves and others. Mindfulness protects us, our families and our society. When we are mindful, we can see that by refraining from doing one thing, we can prevent another thing from happening. We arrive at our own unique insight. It is not something imposed on us by an outside authority.
Practicing the mindfulness trainings, therefore, helps us be more calm and concentrated, and brings more insight and enlightenment. – Thich Nhat Hanh, Happiness: Essential Mindfulness Practices (2009)