We are pausing on our in-person sangha option at this time. Please join us on Zoom by clicking button above.
Need Zoom tech support to join us? Email Phyllis here.
(support available before sangha starts)
Camille & Marie will facilitate. They share:
On Monday night we will explore our attitudes, experiences and feelings around generosity as a lead-in to our month-long theme for October: Engaged Mindfulness. October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month in the USA. Over the last few months, our engaged mindfulness working group has been learning about and working with an organization that supports incarcerated women, many of whom have been victims of different forms of domestic violence. In October we’ll have the opportunity to look deeply at our practice of engaged mindfulness as individuals, as a community and at the work of CFLS through multiple Dharma doors.
For now, we’ll take a BIG step back and invite you to reflect on your experiences with generosity - from childhood through the present day - and whether/how these have changed as you practiced mindfulness.
When I (Marie) explored these, I realized that the experiences of my childhood and young/middle aged adulthood left a seemingly indelible imprint: caring for others was generous and good whereas caring for myself was selfish and bad. So simple!
What a dualistic view. And it was so entrenched that I couldn’t even see it. It wasn’t until I started practicing mindfulness that my “auto-pilot” began to shift (with emphasis on the “began”). Ironically, one of the main things that drew me to Thay’s teachings was his emphasis on engagement (“once there is seeing, there must be acting...”) with the larger world. Little did I know that this practice would lead me to caring for myself in ways that my younger self would have deemed “self indulgent”! And, the more I practiced, the more I understood and experienced the interbeing-ness of generosity, as described more eloquently by a Tricycle article
“If each person is not fundamentally separate from other beings, it follows that the suffering of others is also one’s own suffering, that the violence of others is also one’s own violence.”
“that social work entails inner work, that social change and inner change are inseparable. “
Fast forward to the present moment, years of practicing generosity for self/other as a sangha has strengthened my capacity to engage in the world whilst keeping some petrol in my tank - so to speak. While my auto-pilot prefers to do for others, my inner pilot often (not always!) helps me to pause, recognize this “old friend” and “ingage”. I learned and liked the word “ingagement” from an article by Brother Pháp Dung, who wrote:
“Instead of the ‘e’ you put the ‘i’, so (it becomes) ingagement. As a global Sangha, we definitely need to be involved and informed, and we need to engage for social and political change. But we must never forget to ingage and to come back to ourselves.”
Camille shares: As a child, my family practiced Catholicism. Much of our growing up years was to practice generosity and love toward others - family, neighbors, those less fortunate than us - but it was always doing for others. Sometimes without necessarily thinking of ourselves first. Always thinking of others first, seemed to be a common thread. Donating time to the church, bringing food to sick individuals in our town, cleaning parks, donating money to those in need, were all second nature to us. My grandmother (now passed) and mother are some of the kindest, most generous women I know - and I always wondered if they forgot themselves in the process.
I have always felt very fortunate and grateful to be from a family with loving parents that could support 11 children and send us all to college and instill the idea of love and generosity toward others. As an adult, I have tried my best to share that generosity and love that was given to me to support my family; my husband, our 4 kids, and many animals. And that has continued over the years toward others, volunteering and teaching at all my kids' schools, volunteering at various organizations to help the homeless, sick, oppressed, and many others, and yet I was, and still am, not sure if I am always taking care of myself in the process.
In my mindfulness practice, as I continue to learn to tune into my own suffering and the wisdom of my body - I have begun to find more healing in myself. We all have a natural inclination to serve others, however, if I can’t sit with and help my own suffering, I really can't go out and effectively help other people. As our teacher Thay says “Peace in Oneself Peace in the World”. This mantra of finding peace in myself and then others is an ongoing practice for me and in continuing to practice mindfulness I use it to be reminded of our inter-relatedness. What affects me affects all and vica versa.
As Joanna Macy (environmental activist, author, and Buddhist practitioner) said - we need to first learn to “see what is happening in our world, pay attention, awaken to poverty, oppression, environmental devastation, and then act for the welfare of all.” (see this video with Joanna Macy and others called) For the Welfare of All - Joanna Macy, Bhikkhu Bodhi & Pannavati Karuna. In my mindfulness practice I am learning that in bringing peace to myself I am bringing peace to others. I believe this to really mean finding love and compassion and generosity for myself and then bringing that love and compassion and generosity to others.
Being in a sangha and sharing the suffering of our community together has really enabled me to listen more, find more compassion, and when I can do that in this small community - I feel I can be better at listening to the greater world community. I have learned from our teachers that It is our personal awakening and then our collective awakening together that can make a difference. With my personal practice along with my community I learn more about myself every day and I hope I can contribute to make a difference to others.
On Monday night, we’ll invite you to reflect on these questions:
What was your experience with generosity as a child and growing older?
Has this changed since you started practicing mindfulness? If so, how?
What are your challenges around being generous with yourself and/or others?
Also, during our second sit, we will share this short video from the Buddhist Peace Fellowship of a peaceful march encouraging peace, safety, and freedom for all. If you would like to watch this independently, you can do so here.
We hope you will join us.
With a bow,
Marie and Camille